Dr. Linda Answers Your Questions | Homework and Multitasking

Dr. Linda's School Success Q & ADear Dr. Linda,

My daughter does her homework while she’s text messaging her friends, listening to music and chatting with her friends on Facebook. She argues that she can do her homework while doing all this. Is she right or should I make her do her homework at the kitchen table so I can watch her? Very Frustrated Mom.



Dear Frustrated Mom,

Teenagers value their social life and don’t always understand or agree with advice from Moms. Your daughter will argue that she is doing her homework, and she probably is. She doesn’t realize that she’s doing her homework like a robot but not learning anything from it.

But having her sit at the kitchen table will be torture for her and for you. You don’t need to watch her do her homework.

When you’re both calm and she’s listening, talk about the research that has been done on the teenage brain and multitasking. It doesn’t work. The teenagers who didn’t multitask while they doing homework or preparing for tests finished their work quicker and learned more. In fact there’s a lot of research that proves multitasking doesn’t work for anybody, not just teens.

However, listening to music if it isn’t too loud may help. Research shows that listening to music while studying helps some kids, especially kids with ADHD.

She’ll just have to experiment to see if music helps her concentrate.

Suggest to your daughter that she set up time to do her homework and set up another time to talk to her friends. This way she’ll have the best of both worlds. She’ll do better in school, and she’ll still have time to talk to her friends. Let her know that you think it’s important for her to have time to talk to her friends.

Best wishes for homework time for you and your daughter,
Dr. Linda

Be sure to leave your school success question for me in the comment section below. I publish readers questions and answers every Friday.

Community College or Four-year University: Which is better?

Dr. Linda's BlogChoosing a college is a big decision, and sometimes families don’t agree.

Maybe Dad thinks it’s best if their son starts out close to home at a two-year college, but Mom thinks their son should go away to school.

Often, as parents, we come to these conclusions because of what we did. If Dad, who started at a two-year school, is successful, he might believe a two-year community college is the obvious answer.

Every successful adult has a story, but most successful adults would have been successful even if the story had been different.

As far as where kids should go to college, it’s hard to say what’s best without knowing what the kids themselves want. Many people take the community college route because they don’t want to go away to school and it’s less expensive.

Others choose to go away so they can experience the college life. Many claim it was the experience of going away from home that helped them mature. If you believe your child needs to go to a two-year school and money is not an issue, many excellent two-year schools offer on-campus living.

There are no absolutes in life. No crystal balls.

Again, the first question is what does your child want to do? If they want to follow in your footsteps and are happy with that decision, then that may be the right path.  But, if they want a different college experience and it’s affordable, this is the only time in their life that they’ll be able to experience that.

The important thing is to keep an open mind as you decide as a family what’s best.

Please leave a comment. Let us know how you’re making college decisions in your family?

Dr. Linda Answers Your Questions | Not Reading in 2nd Grade?

Dr. Linda's School Success Q & ADear Dr. Linda,

My daughter is in second grade and is still not reading. My husband and I are very concerned. My mother in law is a retired teacher. She keeps telling us to relax and that she will read because everyone reads at a different time of their life. Her teacher wants to test her to see if there are other issues that might be causing the problem. I agree with my mother-in-law, but suppose she finishes second grade and still can’t read. I also agree with her teacher because I want to know what’s wrong and if I can do something to help her.  Mom of Non-reader

Dear Mom of Non-Reader,

Your daughter’s difficulty with reading is very frustrating for you and your daughter. Be assured that your mother-in-law is right. Every child reads when they are ready to read. However, some children have more difficulty than others and need a little more help to learn to read. Therefore, the teacher is also right.

You need to learn what is causing the problem and then address it. You may discover that it’s just developmental delay and there are no issues causing the problem. Your mother-in-law will be right, and that’ll be great.

But if there is something that you can be helping her with now, it’s good to start right away. Talk to the teacher and the specialist who will be doing the testing. Look into the tests that will be given. Continue to be a supportive and informed parent with an open mind and you’ll see, your child will read.

Best wishes to your and your daughter,
Dr. Linda

Be sure to leave your school success question for me in the comment box below. I’ll be publishing Q & A every Friday.

Stressed out Kids: Activities can Hurt School Success

Dr. Linda's BlogDaniel wasn’t doing well in school, and he was very busy. Every week, in addition to school, he had drum lessons, tennis lessons, chess club, swimming meets, religious instruction, and karate.

Not surprisingly, he was up to all hours of the night finishing his homework. Daniel’s Mom worried because Daniel kept having  meltdowns and she didn’t know why.

Daniel wasn’t suffering from low confidence. He was suffering from one of the “Terrible Toos,” having too much to do.

Now that school is starting, it’s a good time to plan ahead for outside activities. You may not know exactly what will come up but you’ll have a good idea. It’s much easier to schedule fewer outside activities right in the beginning than to wait until your child is involved and then discover that she needs to drop a couple of them.

Keep in mind that school is your child’s most important activity. If your child is involved in too many outside activities,

School Success Requires Organization

A 3-hole punch is one of the most important items to buy for your six-year old, your 12-year old or even your child going off to college.

Your child is going to have piles and piles of papers. These papers need to be organized. they need to be hole punched and filed in 3-hole binders. Some are necessary for the next test and some are notices about next week’s cupcake sale . . . or last week’s sale, oops.

Every night or at least once a week, go through the papers with your elementary-school child, tossing the unnecessary sheets into the paper recycling bin and hole punching the others. Encourage older children to follow this plan. It could even be on their to-do list that’s on the fridge.

Once the papers are hole punched, put them in 3-ring binders. Label each binder. For example, one can be English, another math, etc. Or put dividers in an individual binder, sorting the papers by subjects and labeling the binders by dates, for example, 1st quarter, 2010, 2nd quarter, 2010. Encourage your children to create a system that works for them.

Keep the binders on a shelf to be referred to for tests and exams, science projects, book reports, term papers, fund-raising activities and field trips.

Make a table of contents for each binder including the date for the test or event. When that exam or event is over, cross it off the table of contents and throw away the paper. Be sure, however, to save papers that need to be referred to again for mid-terms or final exams.

The teachers will let your child know what they want in the binder they use for school. It’s all those other papers that need to be filed away.

Check out some more organizing tips.

Leave a comment below and let us know how you help your kids organize their school stuff.

Dysgraphia: Writing Disability Hurts School Success

DysgraphiaBecause of Writing Difficulties, Alex, a Sixth Grader, was Failing Every Subject

To begin with, Alex was failing social studies because the tests came from the notes the teacher wrote on the board. Copying notes from the board was so difficult that Alex couldn’t read them. If that weren’t bad enough, Alex had no idea what the teacher was saying because trying to write the notes was all consuming.

Secondly, he was failing English because of the papers he wrote. The teacher insisted on having his students write in cursive. Now Alex was penalized for poor penmanship and poor grammar, spelling and punctuation.
Thirdly, he failed math because he couldn’t keep numbers lined up nor read his own writing. Finally, he was failing science because his grade depended on written lab reports. So, Alex never did them—too much writing.

Alex is smart. So what’s going on here?

Alex has dysgraphia, a learning disability that makes writing difficult.
Children with dysgraphia can sit in front of a blank piece of paper or computer screen. Three hours later the paper or screen are still blank. These kids often have wonderful and creative thoughts but can’t get them onto paper or a computer. They can tell you what they want to say but are unable to write it. For some, writing is such a slow and tedious process that they don’t have the patience to sit still long enough to write.

Other kids will write fast and furiously, skipping words, getting sentences and paragraphs in the wrong order. Often they can’t read their own handwriting. The end result is the same: poor grades and an aversion to writing.
Often these children stop writing because, even if they can get the paper written, they’re terrified that their teacher or their parents will insist they revise and rewrite.

Some children may also have actual physical problems with writing that are related to poor eye-hand coordination or lack of fine-motor skills. These children tend to avoid writing, even something as simple as their homework assignment.

Symptoms of Dysgraphia :

Homework: Three Tips for Getting It Done

mom-helping-with-homeworkIs Homework a Hassle in Your Home? Use these Three Tools to Make It Easier.

Time Management. Be sure your child has enough time to do homework, and you have enough time to help if needed. To be sure, download this schedule template and fill it in with your family. You may want more than one. Maybe fill one in for each member of the family. By doing so, you may see that your kids’ days are completely booked up between school and after school activities. They have no down time to relax or play much less do homework.

Homework Helper. Be sure that your children aren’t spending too much time on homework. Even though homework may be beneficial, it can also be counterproductive. The following are appropriate time spans for homework per grade: 1st – 10 minutes, 2nd -20 minutes, 3rd – 30 minutes, 4th – 40 minutes, 5th -50 minutes, 6th – 60 minutes, 7th and 8th – 60 to 90 minutes, 9th thru 12th – approximately two hours. If your child is spending more time doing homework than is recommended, find out why. Maybe, she needs some extra help, maybe there’s too much homework, maybe he’s not completing classwork. To help with homework problems, read my free homework advice booklet.

Organize Papers. If you can’t find the homework sheets because you and your child are drowning in school papers, you need to get three basic items: a good three-hole punch, a large three ring binder and dividers. With your child, at a convenient time for both of you, sort out all the old school papers from his backpack and binders. Discard papers that definitely will not be needed in the future. Put the remaining papers in the binder under each subject. Do this weekly to stay organized.

Now, with a little help from you, your child can stay on top of homework.

School Success: What if Your Child isn’t Learning?

A+ on a student paperSometimes no matter how hard they try, your kids don’t get that A+ they wanted. School success seems impossible. Sometimes they have a learning disability. Learning disabilities are serious and need to be addressed or your child’s difficulties in school may never be solved.

But how do you know if your child’s problems stem from a learning disability or something else? When Andrew struggles with the multiplication tables, it could be a symptom of a much bigger issue which hours of math-drill won’t solve.

Does Your Child Have a Learning Disability? Three Tips for Parents

Young boy concentrating on writingWhen kids are forgetful and disorganized and have to use all their resources to survive each day, they may have a learning disability. Unless teachers and parents understand how difficult it is for such children, they won’t be able to relate to them.

Here’s what 12-year-old Joey explained to me: “Those teachers are losin’ it. They get nuts if you forget a pencil! I’m talkin’ about a pencil! I have to remember which room to go to each period, how to get there, what book I need, if I have my homework, if I can get to the bathroom in those few minutes, and if it’s A, B, C or D day, and they want me to remember a pencil too?”

Joey’s not lazy or stupid or trying to annoy his teachers. He’s been classified with a learning disability.

If your child is experiencing some difficulties at school, don’t be too quick to blame him. Instead, find out what’s really going on. Your child may have a learning disability. Many become frustrated and angry with their children or with the teachers and the schools. They blame their child for being lazy, for having a low frustration level, or for giving up too quickly. They invariably lecture and punish her when she gets poor grades.

Here are three strategies to follow if you think your child might have a learning disability.

School Success Starts with Mom and Dad

Parents swinging sonMichael believed that if he tried hard and kept working at something, he’d succeed.  He could succeed at school. He was sure of it. He said that nobody had told him this—not his parents, not his grandparents. How did he know?  It was the message in his fortune cookie in a Chinese restaurant–so it must be true.

It’s a cute story but in Michael’s case, luckily only partly true. In fact he had wonderful support from his parents and his grandparents. They cheered him on every day as he struggled with severe language issues.

Although Michael could speak when he was five, nobody could understand him. His family was concerned with school and worried about his future.

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