Parenting

When your child is struggling in school it is one of the most difficult and frustrating experiences for the parent and the child. How many times have I faced a child who tells me that she thinks she is stupid, or tells me how much she hates school, and/or hates her teacher(s).

Many of these children are defiant, act out in class, refuse to do class work and homework. They lie about tests and homework or anything related to school to either make themselves feel better or to get their parents off their backs.

Dear Dr. Linda,

I read your blog and enjoy your advice, but I’m having trouble with your advice on respecting your child. I’m having trouble with my 15-year-old daughter.

She’s failing most of her classes, is rude to me, her dad, her sister and her teachers. I’ve taken away all privileges and she’s just become more obstinate.

How do I get through to her that her attitude and behavior are unacceptable?

Dear Dr. Linda,

My grandson lies about school. He’s in the 10th grade and doing terribly in school. I’m not only upset because he’s doing so badly, I’m more upset about the lies. Parenting children who lie is not easy.

My daughter and son-law have found him in more lies when it comes to homework and tests than you can imagine. They’ve basically given up on him. They’ve grounded, punished and taken away everything from ipod to TV.

I’m just the grandma and can’t seem to get through to him or to his parents that nothing is working. I want him to succeed. What can I do? Grandma Fran

Dear Dr. Linda,

Every year when school begins I feel like I’m always ready. I pride myself on the fact that I’m a very organized mom, but by the second week of school, there are papers all over my house. Do you have any suggestions?

An Organized Mom

Choosing your child’s school can be a big decision.

Many parents feel that public school is the only way to educate their child, and some parents believe that a private school education is the only means to a good education.

So who’s right?

Choosing a college is a big decision, and sometimes families don’t agree.

Maybe Dad thinks it’s best if their son starts out close to home at a two-year college, but Mom thinks their son should go away to school.

Often, as parents, we come to these conclusions because of what we did. If Dad, who started at a two-year school, is successful, he might believe a two-year community college is the obvious answer.

Every successful adult has a story, but most successful adults would have been successful even if the story had been different.

Daniel wasn’t doing well in school, and he was very busy. Every week, in addition to school, he had drum lessons, tennis lessons, chess club, swimming meets, religious instruction, and karate.

Not surprisingly, he was up to all hours of the night finishing his homework. Daniel’s Mom worried because Daniel kept having  meltdowns and she didn’t know why.

Daniel wasn’t suffering from low confidence. He was suffering from one of the “Terrible Toos,” having too much to do.

Now that school is starting, it’s a good time to plan ahead for outside activities. You may not know exactly what will come up but you’ll have a good idea. It’s much easier to schedule fewer outside activities right in the beginning than to wait until your child is involved and then discover that she needs to drop a couple of them.

Keep in mind that school is your child’s most important activity. If your child is involved in too many outside activities,

A 3-hole punch is one of the most important items to buy for your six-year old, your 12-year old or even your child going off to college.

Your child is going to have piles and piles of papers. These papers need to be organized. they need to be hole punched and filed in 3-hole binders. Some are necessary for the next test and some are notices about next week’s cupcake sale . . . or last week’s sale, oops!

Every night or at least once a week, go through the papers with your elementary-school child, tossing the unnecessary sheets into the paper recycling bin and hole punching the others. Encourage older children to follow this plan. It could even be on their to-do list that’s on the fridge.

Michael believed that if he tried hard and kept working at something, he’d succeed.  He could succeed at school. He was sure of it. He said that nobody had told him this—not his parents, not his grandparents. How did he know?  It was the message in his fortune cookie in a Chinese restaurant–so it must be true.

It’s a cute story but in Michael’s case, luckily only partly true. In fact he had wonderful support from his parents and his grandparents. They cheered him on every day as he struggled with severe language issues.

Although Michael could speak when he was five, nobody could understand him. His family was concerned with school and worried about his future.

I’ll bet your kids are looking forward to summer!

They’re eager to be outdoors playing, jumping in the swimming pool, going on family outings.

But what about learning? Are you worried they’ll forget a lot over the summer. What if they’re behind when school starts in the fall?

It’s three months without school, without daily reading and writing. But you certainly don’t want to assign homework. Summer is supposed to be fun.

So I’ve got a solution to your dilemma.